At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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