They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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