so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
