My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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