I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
