I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I CAN MOONWALK!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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