today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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