If i come over, it means nothing
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
