Can i not drive my cunt home
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We have so much sex to catch up on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
