A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
