i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
