just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
