You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
