Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
