used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
