whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
