I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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