I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
