butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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