He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
