He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
