I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
