I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
