Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
