love makes seman taste better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
