Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
