Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
