I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
