I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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