Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
