you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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