What did we do last night that was yellow?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
