I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
