and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
