Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
