You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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