I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
