Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
