At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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