lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
