I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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