i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
