but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
