Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
even my farts smell like vagina
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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