The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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