Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's blow job season.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
