Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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