It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
