yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
