last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
