And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We need a shit load of segways right now
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
