So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
