jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
