fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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