theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
